Letter to my five-year-old self

This is February 2023 when I am writing this letter to you, and you are just five years old. You have already been through so much hurt, and I have to tell you that you will go through so much more, more than you can comprehend at this moment. But I want you to know that you will overcome all of the hurt and abuse that you will have to endure. Hang onto all your hopes and dreams. Hang on my dear five-year-old self, Hang on. 

Dear five-year-old Deborah. I know that you have seen the images from that little black and white television of the men holding guns over their heads while wading through water up to their chests. You will come to know that was during the Vietnam War. There will be many wars to come. And the battles will be severe, even in your very own life. There will be many casualties. I am writing to tell you that you will need to be strong, stay courageous. You will overcome the battles ahead. And there will be many, many lessons to be learned in the years ahead. 

 Dear five-year-old Deborah. Those pains you feel in your legs and hips when you walk, that prevent you from running and playing like other kids your age, the ones that your mom ties socks around your legs for comfort. You will endure many years of pain and I am so sorry about that. The answer is in your future. I wish I could give you a time frame, however, your future self is still waiting for answers. This is where am going to tell you that you will have to trust and believe that God has a purpose for all the pain you will endure. What the enemy has meant for evil God will turn it around for good. 

Dear five-year-old Deborah. You will soon have a traumatic experience that I wish I could say you didn’t have to go through it or that it would be over quickly, but I would be lying to you. Your trust in people, your innocence will be taken, but you will survive and not only survive but you will thrive. It breaks my heart that you will be exposed to things that you should have been protected from. However, you will not be. The very people that should have protected you will be the very ones to hurt you. You will grow up feeling like you are dirty and a cheap piece of garbage that nobody wants, but you are not. You are a child of the Most High God. He created you to be a jewel in the midst of the chaos. Hang in there my child. You do have a Heavenly Father who sees you.